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10 Bad Assumptions in Raising Children : Assumption Number 5

Posted by Remy on May 18, 2009

There are several assumptions parents make that are detrimental to their children. As a parent who teaches I am afforded the opportunity to spend time thinking of ways to train children. This is not to say that I’ve figured anything out, I have three rascally boys all under the age of five, so what do I know, right? But because it is my job to train children, both as parent and teacher, I know that good thoughts only follow thoughts and I have thoughts. What follows is a few thoughts that strike me as important, but are also not emphasized enough. These are not meant to detract from any other fine advice, but to compliment it.

 10. Churchtime is Time to Sit Still and Quiet

9. Words are Bad

8. God is Always Watching 

7. Obedience is Most Important

6. Bad Examples are Bad

5. Sex is a Secret

What is the gameplan? How do you plan on explaining the marital act to your children? Yeah, I don’t have one either, but we spend the summer on a farm so we’re hoping to be bailed out by randy animals.

But we need to be more proactive in teaching our children, particularly on a subject as important as sex. In sitting back to wait until the world brings up the subject we are essentially ensuring that it will not be a positive, responsible, well-thought out introduction, but a crass joke from some stranger boy.

Sex is not a secret. To treat it in hushed and embarrassed tones only adds to the confusion and shame. I think we put it off because we don’t want to be embarrassed by a public use of some of the terms involved, which is silly.

The problem with putting off the topic is that it means we put off the morality of sex as well. We wait until the biology is taught and then think to drape our morals over the top. It’s no wonder that teaching sex ed first makes it the primary good and the insistence of purity an unnatural burden.

Rather we should introduce sex within the context of marriage, not school or more likely the impromptu after-school special taught by Joe fifth-grader. If marital sex is the norm, that thing mom and dad do together, it puts it in the world of righteousness, of maturity, and perhaps most importantly, it puts it into the quotidian. Teaching sex in the context of marriage makes it difficult to treat as a biological necessity or a backseat teenager’s secret.

We should be practicing revulsion toward sexual impurity and perversion from an early age, but this requires a careful unfolding of the sexual act to our children. Of course sexual purity isn’t as important as the ABCs or the multiplication tables or learning the books of the Bible, but it’s up there, right?

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