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10 Bad Assumptions in Raising Children : Assumption #3

Posted by Remy on June 2, 2009

There are several assumptions parents make that are detrimental to their children. As a parent who teaches I am afforded the opportunity to spend time thinking of ways to train children. This is not to say that I’ve figured anything out, I have three rascally boys all under the age of five, so what do I know, right? But because it is my job to train children, both as parent and teacher, I know that good thoughts only follow thoughts and I have thoughts. What follows is a few thoughts that strike me as important, but are also not emphasized enough. These are not meant to detract from any other fine advice, but to compliment it.

10. Churchtime is Time to Sit Still and Quiet

9. Words are Bad

8. God is Always Watching

7. Obedience is Most Important

6. Bad Examples are Bad

5. Sex is a Secret

4. Sin is Always Punished

3. Training is Telling

I remember in my pre-marital counseling I was told that saying “I love you” isn’t information, but food. Love isn’t a matter of conveying information, it is the matter of working and feeding. In the same way training children isn’t a matter of telling them the right things, faithful training isn’t information.

We know this of course. We know that we are required more than telling, we know that we have to exemplify our teaching to them, embody the obedience we’re teaching, but it’s hard. It’s hard to show obedience when we are the bosses at home.

How often do I jump up when my wife calls me? I put things off all the time, so how can I require immediate obedience from my children when I rarely comply immediately? You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve caught myself yelling back to my children not to yell for their mother but to go to her and ask a question. I’m so ashamed when I ask for an explanation of some illicit act and then following it up with a “don’t make excuses”.

Telling is the least effective method for training. Exemplifying, demonstrating, practicing, encouraging these all accompany your explanation. Only then can discipline be effective.

4 Responses to “10 Bad Assumptions in Raising Children : Assumption #3”

  1. Matt Yonke said

    Good words. I liked this one a lot.

  2. You think you could give us a title?

  3. Remy said

    Sorry, problem with the font color. I’ve changed it.

  4. kyriosity said

    If you highlight that empty space under #4, you’ll see that it says “3. Training is Telling.” I think Remy just got embarrassed by his failure to capitalize the various instances of the verb “to be” in this list, so he hid this one. 😉

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